Passionate About Wine Country
and the Moms Who Live Here

I Sidelined My Husband (But I’m Making Him the MVP Again)

You know those precious moments when you take the time and stare at your husband? Those moments where you get butterflies and a sense of pride knowing that, that gorgeous man is all yours? These moments are usually interrupted by a screaming child, but when they do occur, I love the floating feeling I get and I simply want to tackle him! What happens after those few fleeting moments is the real kicker. Within seconds, that golden glow around him turns into a scroll of all the tasks I’d like him to complete. By Tuesday, 2 p.m., and no later. I have sidelined my husband in the wake of errands and parenthood.

My honey-bear has turned into my honey-do since having our daughter.

When did my knight in shining armor turn into my roommate, business partner, and buddy during Sunday Night Football? Where are the days of staying up late talking, snuggling in the back seat, and shopping for cute underwear? Buttery soft leggings now mask unshaven legs, his cup of coffee is his good morning kiss, and I’m passed out by 8 p.m. most nights (okay every night).

The time has come to fix this drought, but how? Exhaustion sets in under the umbrella of work, gymnastics, kindergarten paperwork, and keeping up with the house. I feel like I’ve given my all to our day, and I just don’t have anymore to give after brushing teeth and bedtime stories.

Parenthood and adulting has sucked the spontaneity out from under me.

I feel like everyday is a Monday when it comes to romance and date nights. I need a kick in the rear to get that spark back into my marriage and finally say enough is enough with this roommate business! The whole, “It’s me and not you.” phrase totally belongs here. I ask why the effort is gone and he simply states that he’s tired of being turned down, again. Mmmm, good point. I’ve put the ball in his court with our romance, but when he tries to throw a touchdown pass, I intercept it and run the other way!

Okay, did I just use a football metaphor to describe my sex life?! I need help

Bringing that puppy love–can’t keep your hands off of each other–spark back, is hard! I’m drowning in trying to be the ultimate mother, business owner, and organizer of our lives. I admit that I have completely sidelined my husband, and it’s time to put him back on the field (I just can’t stop with these sports metaphors). The issue that comes with this is that I can never take the “mom hat” off. The role of motherhood takes precedence over all else and the “wife hat” is buried in the backyard because of  it. Getting that spark back means costume changes, remembering who you once were, and feeling that femininity again.

I must remind myself that I fell in love with a man first. That because of him, I get to be a mother.

I sidelined my husband, but it does not make me a better mom. Giving my child more attention does not give me bonus points. In fact, it makes me a crappy wife and it puts a strain on our family. The key is to find that balance in life and the roles of the many hats I own. I must muster up the energy and acknowledge that there is someone else that needs my love and attention after the goodnight kiss to my daughter occurs. Sidelining your husband is not the answer to exhaustion, because in reality it puts a bigger stress on you.

I am choosing a later cup of coffee, acknowledgment of my actions, pushing through the mental barrier, and giving my husband the Most Valuable Player trophy back.

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2 Responses to I Sidelined My Husband (But I’m Making Him the MVP Again)

  1. Rosalind February 18, 2017 at 3:28 pm #

    Stephanie you keep me going. I’m taking notes for that future relationship. Sidelining just slips right into your busy life and suddenly becomes routine.

    Thanks again, we love you,

  2. Stephanie Diehl
    Stephanie Diehl February 20, 2017 at 9:38 am #

    Thank you for your comment Rosalind. As you know personally, I love my husband every much, and this topic is not an easy one to talk about or fix. But as in everything we do in life, I have to try harder and do my best to show him more love.
    So much love right back to you! Thank you for reading and your continued support!