On any given day, I want to squeeze my toddler, blow kisses, hug, cry, laugh, run away, or grab a stiff drink. Sometimes this all occurs in the span of 20 minutes. Needless to say, living with a toddler is a life of chaos and saying “Where did you learn THAT?” over and over again. Honestly, the more toddler hacks we have to get us through the day, the more sane everyone will be.
Here are some of my favorite hacks I came up with while literally throwing a ball at the wall so my toddler and small dogs could chase after it through hysterical laughter. These are just jokes, but some days they do lend themselves to real life. Despite my crazy life, I love my child and wouldn’t trade my little guy for anything. Some days, though, I would like to close my eyes without someone trying to climb on my head. 🙂
Toddler Hacks That I May (or May Not) Have Done
- Play fetch with your toddler using a tennis ball. A thumbs up if you have a glass of wine in hand.
- Put goldfish crackers in one of those timed dog bowls that only opens at certain times.
- Let your toddler wear pajamas all day on the weekends—that way they will match you.
- Get a dog or dog-sit for your neighbor. We all know that toddlers like to throw their food, and a dog can help clean up the mess. Toddlers are like monkeys – they will throw whatever is in reach.
- Stop in the dollar section at Target (before you start your actual shopping) and let your toddler pick out something to play with while going through the aisles. Put the toy back when you’re ready to check out, letting them know, “We have to say bye-bye now.” If they throw a fit, just buy the toy. It’s a dollar.
Toddler Hacks for Digital Parents
- When your toddler is upset, let them watch videos of themselves. Kids seem to love it, and it helps remind you that they aren’t always monsters.
- Buy a selfie light for your phone for your kids to look at you when you’re taking their photo.
- If your toddler is obsessed with remote controls, give them an old one without batteries that works the DVD player you never use and let them go to town. The same goes for an extra set of keyless entry fobs when out in public.
- Have all of your toddler’s favorite things cued up in a list on Amazon for easy access, in case they lose their favorite sippy cup or stuffed animal. That does mean you need to buy everything on Amazon. BUT, you don’t have to get out of your PJ’s (not that wearing PJ’s to Target isn’t a weekly thing).
- Get your toddlers name in a Gmail account and URL. Email him or her embarrassing toddler tantrum videos (you know you take them) and give them the password when they turn 13. Bonus points if you make a private website!
Toddler Hacks to Help Parents
- Always keep protein bars handy, because we know you don’t have time to actually feed yourself.
- Lay on your stomach on your living room floor. You’ll get a massage from your toddler as he repeatedly hits your back or jumps on you to wake you up. Just watch out for bites and last month’s un-vacuumed carpet crumbs.
- Scrape tic marks with your husband onto your bedroom wall with a knife to figure out whose turn it is to be up with the kid in the middle the night. You know, like prison.
- Buy at least two more laundry baskets. You know you’re not gonna get laundry done that quickly, and at least this way it’s nice and tidy in a basket.
- Play “night night” on top of a pile of pillows, snuggling with your toddler and a blanket. You’ll get three whole seconds with your eyes closed. It will be glorious.
Every day is a new phase in a toddler’s world. What makes sense one day doesn’t work the next, so why not try to beat them at their own “game” by having two colored sippy cups ready to go? You know – just in case the blue one they loved yesterday is not sufficient today. Add in a giant breath for yourself, knowing that it will be back to the blue cup next week.
What are YOUR favorite Toddler Hacks? Let us know in the comments.