Passionate About Wine Country
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Kids Say the Darnedest Things: Funny Quotes from My Kids

When it comes to parenting we all know there is no “instruction manual”.  There are many times that I have wished there was an instruction manual.  I could flip pages in and get answers to the headaches oops I mean obstacles we face while parenting… Now while there is no instruction manual there are countless hilarious moments.

I am still waiting to meet the perfect parent who has ALL the answers…

Parenting as challenging as it can be it is also hilarious…yes HILARIOUS…. You may not be thinking that parenting is hilarious especially if you are in the newborn stage, infant stage, toddler stage, elementary stage, middle school stage, high school stage, or college stage.  HA!

When we say parenting is HILARIOUS let me tell you what we mean:

  • Once you enter that toddler/talking stage the fun really kicks in. This is when you really need to be mindful of your words…. Have you ever been running around the house trying to get things done and then you step on a not so soft toy.  Next thing you know you say something like “oh Sh%!” and then little Johnny or Jenny says “Oh Sh%!”  and for a second you are startled but then you laugh, I mean a gut laugh because that sweet little voice from your child has said a not good word….  These are stories that I find myself now sharing with my kids and friends and I crack up.  Yes, I am a mama that sometimes has a potty mouth.


  • And then there are those days when your child wants their sock on a certain way…. Yes, with the line of the sock right on their toes and when that line moves one millimeter from where they want it on there toes they just fall apart.   At  the time it may not be hilarious but when you think back to it you can not help but laugh because its just silly!!!!  These kids will have a real meltdown over this. There are times I wish I as a 42-year-old woman could have one of these tantrums.


  • As your kids get older they become know it ALLs, they know more than google…. It’s amazing that a five, ten, or 15-year-old can know so dang much.


  • Have you ever had a kid ask you a question you give them an answer, and they proceed to tell you why you are not correct, and they attempt to answer their own question!!!!!! You can go in circles because these folks want the last word!  

When your kids find out how old you are that’s a game changer! They lose all respect and common sense… I will never forget when one of my kids asked, “Mom when you were a kid what did you write with?”  I said “what do you mean I used pencils just like you” my child “Oh I thought in the olden days you guys just wrote in the dirt with your fingers”

  • Or when your child tells a story  to their Sunday school teacher or school teacher about something you have done and  you have to “explain yourself” to clarify. Once I went to get my toddler from Sunday school class and she had asked for prayers for me. She wanted prayers so that I would not forget her in the car again! (I wanted to hide under the rug.) Still to this day this story comes up and there are laughs, and I still haven’t had a real chance to plead my darn case about this incident! 

As you go through each day and the frustrations, headaches, counting to 10, and prayers for parenting peace are happening make sure that you  take a moment to remind yourself of the funnies that come along with parenting because it is a fun journey and your children I am sure are providing you tons of comic relief. 

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One Response to Kids Say the Darnedest Things: Funny Quotes from My Kids

  1. Dina Kirtley July 23, 2018 at 9:19 am #

    love it!! My grandson can now say our pets names! Pat and Chewy. Although Pat is actually our cat named Olive. Kids are hilarious.

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