Passionate About Wine Country
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How to Reset when You Feel Overwhelmed (Advice from Moms)

Whatever you call it—Mom guilt, working mom guilt, stay-at-home mom guilt, or parenting guilt—feeling guilty is something we all struggle with. We only have 24 hours in a day (even Beyoncé), and it always feels like we don’t spend enough time with our spouses, our friends, on our work, or with our children. We are pulled in so many different directions, which can be maddening sometimes. It’s easy to forget how important it is to take time for yourself and reset.

I’m writing this on a day that my toddler decided to wake up at 5 a.m. I snapped at my husband around 6 a.m. (then apologized) and was rejected by my toddler (“No mama. I want daddy pick me up.”) by 8 a.m. I then made a mistake at work, which my marketing committee called me out for by 9 a.m. And now, I’m back in bed after dropping the toddler off at daycare and writing this article on my phone so it’s done with. All before 10 a.m.

Any one of these things can be dealt with just fine on their own. But when everything feels like it’s crushing you (and we’ve all been there), it can be overwhelming. I turned to my mom group on Facebook for some advice. 

{How to Reset – Tips from the Wine Country Moms Group}

Most of the moms I talked to agreed that before you blow up on yourself (or anyone else), your best bet is to take a step back, evaluate the situation, and think about why you feel so crushed. I also asked about the methods they used to help them reset after evaluating said situation. Here’s what they said:

>>Relax (or take it out at the gym)<<

  • “I meditate, take a long bath, go on a hike alone, or get out some boxing equipment in the garage.”
  • “Hit a treadmill or take a walk outside. Your body will thank you for it.”

>>Talk to someone<<

  • “I  text furiously to my long distance BFF and have a good cry!”
  • “I reach out to people who I feel will tell me straight how I’m messing up (or whether I am). When I hear ‘This is not your fault / You’ve done your best’ come from someone who I know wouldn’t say that just to placate me, it’s very soothing.”
  • “Sometimes, it is okay to simply feel bad for a while. I give myself a set amount of time for my own pity party before I call whoever I need to blow off steam, complain, be petty, or get advice during that time. Then I wake up and force myself to reset.”

>>Walk away / Have alone time<<

  • “Walk away from the task and come back to it. I find it helpful to read motivational quotes or scriptures, but do whatever makes sense to you.”
  • ” I try to follow the rule of airplanes – put on my oxygen mask before helping others. Most times, I need to be home alone, even if I just have a few hours to tidy up, play music, or have tea. Usually that helps.”
  • “I look through a box of old cards and letters I’ve saved from dear friends; specific cards from our wedding and births of our children with meaningful messages. And I realize the world is so much bigger than what I am experiencing.”

>>Resetting after problems at work<<

When issues with coworkers come up, it’s best to take a step back, assess why you felt attacked, and determine how to remedy any mistakes you may have made before coming back in person. Get off email, Slack, Facebook messenger, and text. Sincerity is hard to decipher through those mediums.

  • “If I blow up once in a while, it’s a sign that I’m doing too much.  I take a hard look at my current commitments. Then I decide what I can ask for help with, what I can say no to, and set my mind to power through and give myself the grace to be in survival mode for a while.”
  • “Planning ahead helps me feel a bit more sane at work (and in life). If something is missed, I try to check my planner and assess the rest of my week.” 

Sometimes, reading an article like this assures me that I’m not alone in the pressures of parenting, which really helps me. If you are feeling overwhelmed, hopefully reading this helps you realize that you have a tribe! We’re here for you, even if it’s just to get something off your chest. Check out one of the Wine Country Moms Blog community groups on Facebook and say hi.

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